Am I to believe this is what I get

I gave my life to help people and care about them I showed them compassion and love. I get nothing in return atleast not something that lasts. I instead end up depressed again and rewardless for my efforts and friendship. Why do I do these things and yet im always punished and put in this mess. Is there a damn god. I am here and I say I am tired of it and I don't know what anyone wants anymore. They all get to be happy and I don't IT IS NOT FAIR! Why am I left. how come I am left suffering? Why am I so hard to love? Well this don't make sense. I helped so much I gave so much. What the hell is it with this world that hates me so much! I am just an outcast... help me... I wanna be happy even though it never stays. I wanna be happy, but it just isnt in my favor to have a happy life.

How can you believe religion anymore

How is religion truthful anymore when you have so many beliefs. It is corrupted by man and people have twisted god's word. How can it be said this is the truth. The truth lies within god they say. Ask god and he will answer. They say talk to god and you will know the truth. If god is there and cares why did he take my dad... why did he put me in this mess. Why do I have to suffer and watch people be happy. Sure I have friends and no offense... but, no matter how many friends I have it can't compare to my dad. I want a way out I have tried praying. I get nothing of an answer. You expect me to believe there are miracles... I will believe you when I get the hell out of here. I don't know what you want me to do! I will not freaking take your lies anymore. I want the truth and tell me now. Is this so called fucking religion real or fake. Tell me is my dad even happily in heaven... or just gone forever. Will I ever see him again or is this so called religion a lie. I believe in love and being good are we here to worship god or live our lives tell me the answers someone. I want them and I hate hearing you don't have the answers. I am begging for the answers and do not tell me the I have to ask god bull. I want the truth.

Who's next

do you still care