I'm getting away with happiness????????

It's been a few days since me feeling depressed. I find it amazing I lasted so long. Im finding it easier to get though life with friends. It is love and friends that get me through I love you all. I don't know how I am makin it through. It is a miricale and life goes on and I love the friends I've made and kept.

I wish you knew my side

Wish you knew how I feel. Wish you knew what I mean. Wish you knew my hate for you. Wish you knew how much I wanna get away. Wish you knew how much I despies you. My mother my ass. Your not much of one and that much I know. Don't tell me I am wrong, do not say you know right. I have seen the pain I've endured during my stay here. I want nothing more than to be away, You say you know when you don't. I know it's all I got right now. It doesn't seem fair. I make the best of what I got. With the internet as my lifeline, my getaway. Reallife is so complicated. When yet here I can let myself free and let my mind wonder as I listen to the music to set my mind at ease. I will forgive, but I wont forget and I hope you know you've lost my respect. That is one of my favourite song quotes. Those are some of my feelings towards my mom. Your fucking game is senseless. I get depressed cause of you... you fucking bitch. I hate your guts to the fucking core. I love and respect my friends.... but ceartainly don't respect you.

Whats up with you kids and fathers

Today I hear about kids and talk to them who all say they have bad fathers and good mothers. I don't understand how a father could be so bad... compared to my life their opposite of me. I have bad mom and a good father. I don't wish them to die without having a good father. I know what good father is like and I wish they could have them too. These mothers... I have no fuckin clue what makes them so great. These kids could say the same about my dad. My dad was loving and caring for me and I miss him so much. Idon't understand how a father can be so bad. I think they need to step the fuck up and be a damn loving father! I don't give a shit whats going on in your lives you assholes. You have a kid and their your responsibility. You should love them and care for them. Not be abusive and unlvoing. Don't be uncaring... be the father you should be. Loving and caring. be accepting of your kids and don't let go. Love them not hurt them.

Two year aniversary

Today febuary 14, 2010 is the two year aniversary of the day my dad passed away. I miss him so much and it seems like yesterday I was just sitting round with him watching tv happily. I look at the day he died and I remember hearing the news in my principal's office and I sat there stunned. I had to cry and I could not do it around everyone there. I got to my new home... and I cried my eyes out. I lost my father... the man who raised me and loved me more than anyone I knew. I think to this day how my life could have been if it never changed. I see that the house would have been lost and everything. I still would have had my dad and that is all that matters. I would love him always and no matter what I will never stop. It seems so silly to think I would live in a roach infested house living off church bringing us food. I wanted to stay there with my dad for two reasons. One e was my dad and I loved him so dearly that I would take care of him in his sick conditions. Two I was happy with my life. I love that I have friends here and I still wonder why god would make my life like this. It seems that the friends I made here helped me through eevrything and even though i question religion now. Thank god for you all. Thank you all for your help and love and care. I love you all. My life goes on on this earth and it is cause of you all, my friends who have been with me this far and continue. Love in me is all I need.