Friday, October 30, 2009

Would you accept change?

I want to understand why people deny anything out of their control... are they afraid of change or is it just they don't care. Can people even understand. I can't help you fix yourself if your not willing to accept my help.  I give you examples such as homophobics, control freaks, and stubborn people. They are obsessed with denial of anything they don't want to accept. From gay haters to control freaks all around is denial. We can offer change, but those who are too far in or too deep, we can't help. I offer help in which you deny... I ask of you why?  Obsession of denial, refusal to accept... You make no sense. We can't win a battle with stubborn defenses. Your defense is your constant denial. Accept me, accept things, and accept anything that should be accepted. Your blind sighted by the fear of change. Anything abnormal to you is evil. I don't care what you were raised to believe... believe in what you believe as an individual. Cut yourself from the pack so you can find your own beliefs. If this are you true beliefs then I suggest you be more open minded. Keep in mind these changes and abnormal things are everywhere you look, only they are disguised. Tell me what you want to, but I you are not in the right mind if you refuse change. Ill fight with you if you let me... I want to help, but only if you let me. If you choose to not accept my gift of help then do not waste my time with your stubbornness... I have my own path to walk and you have yours. You are blindfolded untill that blindfold is removed to show you the truth. The blind fold will come off when you choose to look at the true meaning and accept... accept those things and people that you take no time to understand or even give a second thought. Look for the true meaning then accept it upon your beliefs. Understand it before you deny it.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Stones blocking the path

My path blocked by stones, what can I do? I am behind in schoolwork and don't take care of myself really. I just need to catch up with my schoolwork and take a shower. I need my cavities all filled then maybe my life will continue it's path. Things are in my way that I must clear. If I move it away ill have my streess relieved. I am stuck and running in circles. Help me through this for my path is blocked by stones. I need to get further on and see the other challenges in my way. This isnt a game. It is my life.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Meanings of life

We all search for our meaning to live, our meaning for life. It is what we want. I found my meaning to life atlast. My blog's name will be changed for i have found love i've searched for and no longer need to search. I have it and my time to embrace it is now. Friends helped me get to this point and I thank you all for caring and sticking with me.I am much happier ow days,but I must still get outta where i am now. Ill still get depressed and stuff untill I do. This place is holding me back from reaching my full potential and unlocking happiness. This has been a challenge to me, perhaps my biggest challenge ever. I must overcome every single obstacle in order for me to recieve my reward. I will stop and step off my path to help someone in need, but i will yet continue on my way when I have helped.

More pics

some picsrjust asweeter side of me and others r me being an ideot, enjoy

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Love is blood

Love is needed for you to live, without love we would eventually die, as if our blood drained slowly. If you have no blood, you will die. If you have no love you will loose any will to live and thus try suicide over and over till it is accomplished. You try to save them before it is done, their time is limited unless you can save them. The love you have is your blood. The blood of your feelings. Without any support for you, you enter depression. The depression goes deeper till it is thus deep depression. That drives you to try suicide and bad relationships cause this sometimes. A 16yr old commited suicide recently. He lived round my old city where I was born and raised till my dad died. He commited suicide cause like me and my mom.
They had a bad relationship. I had not realized that anyone at my church i confident it even a bit cared about me. Those who went and prayed were deeply sad. One told me they saw that boy dead on the slab and thought of me. They said they didn't wanna see me end up like that, my uncle aka the church's pastor told me the same. This world has suicide atempts everyday, think about the lives we could save, just look for the signs of depression.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Stabbed in the back

I thought I met two good friends that were around my age. I thought we were friends.  One of them asked to be my bf online. I accepted. I find two days later in the middle of our convorsation he pretends to not know who I am and act like his account was hacked. I know thats BULL SHIT. Forget him then? I talk to the other boy tellin him what just happened. The words that hurt me most were typed there.I explained what just happened he said in quote "I don't care" He then said he's confused, then that he was really busy and just said bye. I have been stabbed in the back. I wanna believe what they say is true. I know though it is all just lies. I have been abandoned again! I wanna get past this but, I was used by them.Damnit!! I never should have fallen for it all.Betrayed,backstabbed,and used. I want to kick this kid's fucking ass. We know I will never get that chance. I want to show that ass hole how much I am hurt. I wanna inflict pain on him. I know it aint right. I want to do it though. I will never get the chance, I need some time to heal...