Tuesday, March 30, 2010

For all of you

Found this vid on youtube and its so special and it said to throw in you r own pics etc and dedicate to someone. I may not have pics or anything but ill who you it to all of you in deddication of you all. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYp0GVzmLgY

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Wow these people blow my mind

Ok so I was on youtube and someone was telling people to go suscribe to these people who are 11 brothers and sisters. (wow) I thought ok im curious i'll look. It blew my fucking mind. They sing amazingly! OMG you know I am not a advertising asshole but please look at their youtube channel they are just amazing I mean 2 days ago or so they had 545 suscribers or so now its over 17000 cause of who advertised it. People love them. The channel comments for their page is over flowing. Check them out their just amaizng http://www.youtube.com/user/FanninEleven#p/u/0/UG4Ly5DBn1Y

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Is love like blood

sorry for any bad sound or video quality.

Smiling or stress

Leave to love or stress stay in stress longer and bring in more stress or leave to love. Tell me what you think I should do. I want to smile not be stressed out. I always say love is blood. This life of mine is dead if i have no love. tress or leave to love. Tell me oh tell me which do you think I should do? I know what I think is right.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Inside me

I know the world is confusing and We can't be sure of anything anymore. I found love inside myself. I found it and I never expected too. I don't care bout being succesfull. I care bout being in a place im loved and cared about rather than rich and famous. You can tell me I need to worry bout education and stuff. I understand I need an education. I do not think I will go on to college. I would rather spend that time getting away from it all here and I know you will say go to college and get a better education so you can move out then. I need to leave as soon as I people. I want you to understand I wanna put love before myself and education. I will put love before everything even money and jobs. I will put love before dreams and even more. I would spend my life in a place of love instead of the fame and money. I would spend my life loved in the streets rather than in rich home and cars. I need none of that stuff. I put what is first for me and that is love. I say screw the educators who say I am wrong. LOVE comes first. You can't tell me love is pointless. I love first before anything. I found love and struggle inside myself and I swear this I have. The struggle I keep beating it and continue to.

Friday, March 5, 2010


Never again am I adding msn contacts from blogger ever. I am tired of this... not naming anyone I am having issues with some of them. I don't talk to them oh I'm not a good friend. I am here at my comp. almost 12-16 hrs a day and you dare tell me we never talk and it's my fault?! Oh im sorry I can't go watch tv in the other room im sorry you care so much and it hurts when we can't talk. Im so sorry I want time to myself. I am sorry im such a fuckin problem with watching tv for a little while or playing a game uh im a fucking teenager. Yes your my friend. No I don't message you all the time cause I feel if your wantin to talk to me then just message me I don't mind. I don't notice when everyone is online I have so many friends on msn. I am sorry you see it this way. Left my heart open for you and helped you and you helped me. You want to throw this out... FUCK... fine. I don't need the drama now please calm down or just stop... I am sorry. I just wanna be friends and please stop the arguing.

Look at this place

This is the world we live in and fight in. I cannot say stop the fighting. I say find love and friends and fight back. We need to survive not to fall. We need to stay in fight and help others and we need to do it now. I swear we need the love and friends and I am your damn proof. Live a lie and fall live the truth and survive .My eyes tell a story of sorrow and happiness. Which on is more powerfull you decide. I think you know. Look into my eyes read my story as if it were an open book. I have nothing in my story to hide. Look at the place we call our homes. Usually theres something behind closed doors. Some times it is as it appears to be. Rather sex, drugs, crime, or any kind of abuse. Watch the ambulances and police. Watch the fires burn and look at the scared people. We are finding it harder to be happy are we not? I think we need to be happy with love to fight. If we fight depressed it seems pointless or so I think. Are you happy and can you fight. If so help others to be happy and find love. To fight as well. Listen to me and how I speak. I have seen the place we live in... this world. No more secreats, no more lies. It is time to find the truth and fight for our lives. We may be worth saving in the long run. We all deserve the love. Find the truth in this world and you may get depressed... read the signs of people. You will know what I mean. Find friends and love then fight back.

if not me then who if now then when

If it isn't me to get free then who will. If not to get my freedom then when the fuck will I get it. Friends made me realize I will get free and soon. I know if I can get free others can too. I saw people come and go. I tell you one fucking thing. The little kids in this world are babied too damn much. By the time you learn for real that life is fucked up. Your already suffering. I think we need to stop telling these lies to these little kids and I don't care how young they are if they can go to school and talk. You must teach them about the realworld. Not the fake world you show them and say you can make friends and the world is so happy.Stop that bullshit! The world is a struggle and fight. I can get through it with friends yes, but it sure as hell isn't a happy life. You say to the little kids just walk away from fights and drugs. You cannot always do that no!. Fights sometimes cannot be avoided. Prepare the young kids while they are young so they have a better chance to take on the world then we who have suffered now. I know it isn't surefire and I know they might not be happy. If you continue liying to them. It won't turn out good usually. The world kills. Stop the lies before its too late. Save these lives while their young. Parents who think this is wrong. Think to yourselves. You want them to know how to fight life and depression or end up suicidal. The way to save lives starts wit showing little kids the truth.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I know what I shalll do

My dream is to be a singer and I don't mean any jonas brothers, mileycryrus, and fuckin disney bull shit. I mean independent self story songs. I wanna be like my fav band papa roach. I wanna be singing my mind. Telling you what I think and how I feel about everything. I don't care what disagreements it would bring. You don't like you don't listen. I wanna be having a good time and telling you my stories in my music and music videos. Don't care if im number one. I want people listening to me and thats all I want. I wanna show you my mind and the places of it and I will sing it at the top of my lungs screaming into your ears. Letting my story be told and you will hear what I have to say while rocking out to the music as I scream and sing as best I can to sound well. I will not just be loud, I will tell the truth and sing it well. Do not fear the words I say I promise it will sound good and not just a loud screaming maniac. I cannot garuntee however I wouldn't be crazy.

Monday, March 1, 2010

I'm getting away with happiness????????

It's been a few days since me feeling depressed. I find it amazing I lasted so long. Im finding it easier to get though life with friends. It is love and friends that get me through I love you all. I don't know how I am makin it through. It is a miricale and life goes on and I love the friends I've made and kept.

I wish you knew my side

Wish you knew how I feel. Wish you knew what I mean. Wish you knew my hate for you. Wish you knew how much I wanna get away. Wish you knew how much I despies you. My mother my ass. Your not much of one and that much I know. Don't tell me I am wrong, do not say you know right. I have seen the pain I've endured during my stay here. I want nothing more than to be away, You say you know when you don't. I know it's all I got right now. It doesn't seem fair. I make the best of what I got. With the internet as my lifeline, my getaway. Reallife is so complicated. When yet here I can let myself free and let my mind wonder as I listen to the music to set my mind at ease. I will forgive, but I wont forget and I hope you know you've lost my respect. That is one of my favourite song quotes. Those are some of my feelings towards my mom. Your fucking game is senseless. I get depressed cause of you... you fucking bitch. I hate your guts to the fucking core. I love and respect my friends.... but ceartainly don't respect you.