Monday, November 28, 2011
I'm so high, dare anybody to try and cut my wings. You say this stuff, and you don't even know. You fail at this game we call life. I will leave, and you will be in hell. I leave you to burn in hell on earth. I'm so high so sky high. You will see me leave for all you did was make me resent you , and cry in pain. I see nothing but happy times ahead for me. You not so much. The time will come for me to go miles away. You will be stuck here with nothing, but maybe you'll survive. You just wont take from my future happiness.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
Stand and listen, sit and listen.Let it infect your mind and body until you move to the beat. I got this feeling, somebody dance with me. Let this night be your imagination's day dreams. This night will be one of your best. Do not stop listening, I win this round. I started the trance, and your in my trap. I wanna do it like we did it in Vegas, says the music. You dance, and clap along unknowingly in a trance. Time for you to dance faster. Boom boom boom boom boom goes the bass. Sway your hips back and forth. I got you again, and captured your minds. Electronic sounds fill your ears, and you fall deeper in my trap. What is this you ask? Your in my world, and I am your dj! I am your dj!. I am your dj! I am your dj!. You in my house, and under my control. Dance and party to your heart's content. You can thank me when you find yourself having fun, and never wanting to stop. Lamdada lambada ooh oohhh, let's go says the music. Beta reaches climax, and you dance stronger, harder, better, and faster. You sway your hips back, and forth. I captured your minds tonight. You will thank me when your dancing on the dance floor socializing having the time of your life. I put those smiles on your faces, and for that I am glad. I want you to scream dj masa! I love you guys when you do, because it shows i've done a great job. This music isnt rap, its electronic remixes, and pure ear Ecstasy. This is what you have heard as a sample, hahahaha! I had you in my trance. The thing is though , i'm just a raver singing na na hey, who is living their dream as an electronic/ trance techno dj. Rave the night away, and i garantee you will be field with happiness for atleast the night.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPGAcPZFdToTo (disregard the title)
If anyone remembers star fox i thought you might find this funny.http://www.youtube.com/user/brentalfloss#p/a/u/1/ztRBs3riPsA
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
This is pretty much a description of my feelings atm without the drugs part. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLksp_Sjp_g I cant get through to what they call my mother. I honestly have tried, and now I am just not trying anymore as it is proving useless to attempt to work it out countless times.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
The music helps me so much in life, every electronic sound and every beat is like one step further. My mind races and I dance so much it is such a pleasant feeling my whole body feels invigorated. I feel overcome by a feeling that is just satisfaction in my soul is the only way I can explain it. Music is my therapy alongside my friends. The electronic sounds mixed with the bass is such a wonderful sound, and feeling. The occasionally mixed in lyrics is just so great. I wanna dance around to the beat to my heart's content. The occasional love song in electronic forms is always a pleasure as well.It is like ecstasy in my ears to put it in a dirty minded way. I find this to very therapeutic for me. The steps are the beats, the beats are the steps of my life I take. The music simply makes me think of all the steps ill take after every beat. Music and friends, as well as love are my life. I'm just a raver singing na na hey, I jump around to this crazy sound of mine all day. This is my legacy, I am Masa. Masa is who I am, I am a raver, a lover, and a person with values. I am a furry and gay, so proud to be both. I love my friends and my lover, they basically complete what is missing of me when I feel empty. I do have a warning for you, I am crazy and I have no sanity. They say fake it to make it, well I fake my sanity, but trust me having no sanity is fun as can bhe for me. I am weird, and proud. Fuck with my friends, I will make sure your terrified of me, k? *grins*. I also get a bit feminine at times depending on my mood, guess it comes with being gay. If i show you my true self, it means I probably like you and, maybe trust you. Feel special in that case, this will be in my legacy to show you who I truly am or at least let you know of my true self.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
I helped him for years I was his friend. You wanna protect him from the real world? Good luck with that, be cause he will learn to despise you. The things i did was only telling him to follow his heart and helping him through it all. Heart break is apart of life and if he was going to get it or not he will never know aand you ban him form taking to me. You will never live it down when you see his tears for what have you done is took away his love and his best friend. She never did anything to him, and I only tried to help. When he cries I hope you cry as well. The pain you will feel is just as real as his.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
I will fight life and the issues until you say and if you say you want me gone. I love you so, and I will fight for you to my last breath. I will do what I must to be with you and I will prove my love, and loyalty to you. Your happiness is what I live for so long as I have your love I can succeed. I will not die knowing I still have you to live for and for this I will win the fight. I surrender my body,mind, heart, and soul all to you in the name of love my sweet lovely wolf lover.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Do you believe you know me truly? no you do not. you see what mask I put on when I am out in the open world and not closed in to my friends and or lover. You can't see the things I see as we are looking with two different mind sets. This mask protects everything I am from people like you and thats a fact. The mask is all a show and my fake is so real its beyond fake. You probally won't ever know unless I tell you. My friends and lvoer know me behind the mask, but no you just don't. Man overboard, if you think you know me. I am decieving arent I? Ha ha you will never see what I am behind this mask unless I allow it. You shall look and believe this act and ill keep laughing at the ignorance you show daily. People like you make me shake my head in absolute laughter out of your own stupidity. The values you have are messed up and your greed is simple disgusting. If I took this mask out wed probably be at war when you see the things I wanna tell you. the things I breath under this mask are words which would spark you into war. I am your worst enemy in disguise.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Age is becoming mostly about restrictions. Love, friends, and many other things. I don't understand why it matters much past a certain point like 14 or 15. We do start developing opinions and values as teenagers and such. Why is it we can't even sometimes have friends above or below our age group? I think we can live together as friends no matter the age. Love sometimes to me can break this idea of mine if the two are not really in love or one side is using the other. The two people if really in love, and do not just want their body then I see no problem with it, some people only see the age, but I can see the love and care. I see no problem in friends and love when it comes to age so long as the feelings are genuine. This I think is something society should consider before making rash judgements, but sadly they wont as alot of people would counter arguement this. I say were ntot all of the same maturity level if the same orclose in age, we all develop at different speeds usually, and should be respected as much as anyone else with out lives and beliefs.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
This statement be a bit narcissistic but I find it true sometimes. I always look for a solution and try not to fight, thus I usually find I turn tragedies into melodies. I can't see any other way of living, this to me is simply easier to do then the alternatives. Magically I turn tragedy into melody, it comes so naturally, so smooth and casually. I will always try to do this, I may not always succeed, but it is always worth a try. I usually find things to be a lot better off when I do. Magically I do this to my own eyes and I love to turn the depression into smiles of laughter. This is the life for me and to make a smile rather then a tear is always going to be better in my book.
Monday, October 10, 2011
People who just dont seem to understand life at all really annoy me. People who live in greed and lust, just sex , drugs, and money. These people disgust me to the point i wonder if their is any hope for them. I do not simply understand why these people like such a greedy lustful lifestyle. I wonder what is it is they think will just come naturally, but in the real world this shit doesn't get though the hard times in life. They will get lost in this fucked up world, or find a right path, and when they do come to their consequences face to face I do hope they get nothing but what they deserve.
Friday, October 7, 2011
When i am with you my lover on that day i am with you in the night to never leave you in a physical sense to add to the emotional sense. Stop the time i want that night to last forever and ever so dont unfreeze it till im passed out exhausted my head on your chest. I will make you happy i will pleasure you i will serve you and love you to the fullest extent, just always love me and i shall do my job for you .You are my reason for living my beautiful, sexy, amazing, shivering inducing lover.
Friday, September 30, 2011
you claim to of had strict parents. You claim to of been raised right. You claim to be so great at everything. These claims you make, oh ha their false, you know? Greed, and ignorance is what I see in you. You are on the streets doing what you do on a regular routine. Listening to the musical lyrics of lust and greed. Throw out your anger upon anyone who angers you. You are so easy to read, my friend. Claims you make ,I have squashed. The claims you make are how you are a greedy, incompetent, hypocrite. This being true, you probably don't even understand true love, one of the most blissful parts of life. I pity your ignorance you stupid fool. Develop real beliefs and understanding, stop the ignorance and false claims. Please become someone with an understanding, rather then a fool with no clue.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
I will never fail to love you as you can see im so dedicated. I wont let you fall depressed without my help. I will be here to love you forever you see I shall not leave you nor let you down and ill always make sure im doing everything I can for you. I wont let you become suicidal I will not let you fail. I will give everything up to move across the country for you . I follow you where you go when I turn 18. If it is the Uk or just another state , just see me, look in front of you my bags are packed and I am saying "let's go my love" " Fuck were we come from as we have left it behind, our horrible lives are now changing and my smile is only there because of yours." I owe my love my complete love my heart body mind and soul as forever are for him, I aim to make them smile as much as I can, as well as my friends.
I have been with my current boyfriend for almost 6 months now and I have been is love and it is just amazing. I hope this does last for years and years. He recently moved to Illinois, but I will join him when I am 18. I was wondering if anyone knows how I may do something for his birthday tomorrow seeing as there is a distance problem. I really am wanting to do something special for him if i can.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Tears roll down your cheeks found that your alone. I see this in your future. Today you piss me off again. Whenever I try to do something even as simple as baking something or cleaning up something. You think I will mess it up so as soon as I try you raise your voice.Time to get the head out of your ass. I make messes I make mistakes. I try to fix things and you do not allow it then bitch when I dont try. I swear you are close mind you perfectionist bitch. I am not sorry to say you make me feel hatred for you more each day. Relax already don't let small things fucking drive you mad. Maybe if you did this you would not feel so fucking stressed you dumb bitch so please get off my back and let me do things instead of you stepping in fuck you just leave me alone.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
I wanna kiss you under the moonlight. I wanna lay next to you in this night. I may not like the dark but you are a wolf and I am your pup, your love. I am protected by you. I wanna see you under the moonlight and see you transform into the wolf you are. I wanna be held by you and kiss, lay there in the grass staring up at the night sky. Do not let me be scared please protect me. I shall always love you and do what ever you want from me. I admit this I love the wolf of my dreams.I love thee, Bane... kiss me again.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
I was told by my boyfriend last night what his stupid mother said. I laugh at it now though , she does not know about me being with him. She told him he cannot date anyone unless she approves of them. I laugh at her because. You cannot control love and seeing as she does not know about me her words means nothing. I dont care if she did know about me dating him. The fact would remain I would stay with him and she could fuck off. Love is uncontrollable and if I love someone noone stands in my way. She is a bitch for how she treats my boy friend. I wish quite frankly she would be arrested and rot. I know she is dumb for thinking she can control who he loves but that doesn't work. You cannot control someones heart and if you think you can you are only fooling your fucked up self.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
My bf always has to do the cleaning and cooking at home. He has school and has to clean at home so when i talk to him hes always going away for minutes at a time to do stuff his fucking mother should be doing. She does not have a job. She sits on facebook all day playing fb games. I have seen this with my own eyes. She doesnt do adman thing. I call her worthless for this reason. My bf can get grounded for the smallest and most messed up reasons and it is like wtf?. I know his sister just moved back in. She doesnt do a damn thing eaither... To think that their sitting in that mother fucking house and my bf is doing everything. They do not deserve to even be related or in the same house as my bf. He deserves better than that they are but trash. He deserves more then those lowlifes.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
It is nights like these that make me so happy. I know you always hear of people claiming to be in love. They profess their love on face book and like idiots put their statuses to engaged. With a two month or so time span most of them have broken up. I do not go around confessing my love on face book like that. I do fine with the moments I talk to my bf one on one. It is so passionate at times I wanna go insane. I get a big smile and wanna jump all over the place. I do not know why if you can not get through on that why must people feel the need to go on facebook and throw your relationship everywhere. The most irritating is the engagement thing. You are not engaged untill you have a ring on your finger for that purpose. Maybe I got it all wrong. I know some of them really are in love. I may be young but i truly do know love and it is amazing. I know alot of others only claim to know love when it comes to show they really do not yet. This night however has made me think of love and how so much I appreciate it. When my life has been so horrible these are the times I cherish and love. I never want this to end I feel like im so high on a cloud. I hope you will or do feel this way.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
I seem to have a routine for no matter what time I wake up. The routine is I will turn my comp. on sit down and begin listening to some metal/hardrock. Then the rest of the day It is usually techno/trance/rave music. Twenty minutes to a hour of metal/hard rock. One to Two hours of the techno/trance music. I then am pretty much fully awake and in a decent mood. Give me a little more time as I play a game or two. I am dancing round my room to music. Providing no one makes me pissed off. I am usually dancing around my room and all waiting for my boyfriend to come on.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
This was months ago. I had been so happy for a while...I was involved in something everybody seemed to think was wrong except my closest friends. I was involved with someone I met online through someone who had broken my heart. This guy was there to pick me back up and help me out I was so happy for many months cause of him. The part comes for a turn in the story. He was thirty one. Done being shocked yet? I loved him so much and he surely loved me. Though usually guys hat old I would never consider. I was emotionally and sexually involved with him and yes on the internet. Then an ex of mine who I trusted as a friend. He blabbed to my aunt about it and then it got to my stupid mother. They well you can guess what they did. I was dragged on for months not knowing they knew. Then a ex of my so called friend (the ex of mine) told me what was going on. I flipped completely and threaten my life his life his friends life for being involved and my mother's life. The next day stupid mother of mine wanted me to get an assessment for depression and I denied. The plans were already setup... they were gonna put me in the mental floor of the hospital rather I liked it or not so I did not mess anything up. Cops escorted me to the hospital I got an assessment and they admitted me despite my crying. My crying only helped the people to put me in. I was admitted and that night I cried laying on my bed in the middle of the floor looking out the window. Next day I learned the rules and how to get discharged . I lied as much as I could anything to get out of there. The more I was there the more depressed I got. It felt like a prison. I cried some nights and others i fell asleep to get the night over with. Discharged 6 days later after admission. My head had thoughts of revenge. I regret it. I got it on my ex by going back in a relationship with him and visiting him every weekend. I met my current bf during my first visit there though I did not get with him till a couple months ago I believe I could not back out of my revenge plan when I wanted to. I broke his heart as painlessly as I could. I will get revenge on my stupid mother even if I didn't want to I would. It is simple. My happiness when I leave will be her sadness. I am a kind hearted person and I regret anything I did for revenge. The revenge however did bring me happiness now with my current boyfriend. Maybe I could have done things differently and still met him I am not sure. I am just glad things worked out for me now
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
This is the kind of music i would play as a dj. I hope you enjoy these few songs and any songs in the suggestion part on youtube beside the video is mostly the same type of music. I have noticed that a large majority of these types of songs are love songs. I assume thats partially why I love them so. They mean something deep and I can dance away the night forgetting my worries.
I leave you with one of my favourite song quotes. " In my heart I will always always be a raver can't you see"
The more days go and pass me by. I realize I got the best boyfriend I could ask for. This is just the happiest time of my life and as the song goes... I'm so lucky lucky... so lucky lucky.. i'm so lovely lovely i'm so lovely lovely.Nothing i could ever want compares to me love for my boyfriend. People can tell me I do not know love and I would respond if I do not know love explain the smile on my face the strength to go on and my dancing shining happy moods every time I talk to him. This is love buddy and nobody will deny me what i truly deserve. Family is not what I need in life. Family and me we just have not mixed and that is me. Love is my life and if I cannot love my lover my true love... there is simply no point in going on for me. True love is what I live for. I am here... I am sexy... I am in love... and oh boy I am so lucky.
Monday, April 18, 2011
I recently told a friend i wasn't into something anymore. This is something that is a big part in his life and not in mine and never was. It is something i'd rather not tell what it is here. This thing was for enjoyment and to others its a big part of their lives just like my friend. My friend is in denial and wondering when I will like it again and yet I do not think I will. He does not speak to me much anymore and when he does its relating to this "thing". I say something about not liking it he says nothing else. I do not know how to make him see its not a big deal and we are still friends. This is stupid to be this way over but I can not see why he makes it out to be.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
I don't really remember if I have ever mentioned this . My dream is to become a night club DJ. The music I would play is not your rap, hip hop and such. I would play all different kinds of techno and trance. The dancy love songs to the slow songs and everything in between. The ones that r crazy and ones that aren't so crazy. I wanna explore music of this genre so far I want to be in the deep depths of these as I think they are called... sub genres. They are all techno and trance and yet with their own spin and style to them. I wanna show people how to have a good time listening to good music. Make a party hot... come out of my shell and show people fun, love, and everything this music has to offer.
This friend hasn't talked to me in two months or more. He ignores any im on facebook I send him yet i see that he is replying to comments as it comes up on my news feed. Soon after i message him he logs off... no excuse for not answering me at all or saying one thing to me. I am waiting on some answer before i go off on him. I do feel like i just wanna blow up at him next time I try to talk to him cause the least I deserve is a damn explanation.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
I wanna start posting again while at the same time... have added google adsense to my blog so if you kindly would click an ad or two upon your visits to my page.... id thank you as im trying to get money collected for a couple things including seeing a friend of mine. I think i might be bale to find topics for me to post about so look foward to that? Haha.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
I made my choice, my chance at a local relationship has come true. I meet up with him soon for a weekend. when theres noise about dont come a knocking. I know he will make me happy as i shall live to make him happy. Whispering those sweet nothings into eachother's ears. I am called his pup simply for my furry side. The feelng of being called that for a reason or another seems to make me smile. It is different from most people that is true. I do not care about money or success. I do not care for college either only to make him happy. I am not sure if anyone even looks here anymore. I have not had the urge to post recently. I will get the my ged and job training at jobcorp. I will move out of here and live with him hopefully.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Here i am once again, in a mess... I love two guys one on the other side of the world and the other an hour away. One so loving and yet very mean at times even though hes awesome and an amazing singer ( the aussie boy). The close guy well hes seductive and hot. He shows alot of romance and passion. He let's me by myself... I just don't know how to choose.