Thursday, April 21, 2011
I seem to have a routine for no matter what time I wake up. The routine is I will turn my comp. on sit down and begin listening to some metal/hardrock. Then the rest of the day It is usually techno/trance/rave music. Twenty minutes to a hour of metal/hard rock. One to Two hours of the techno/trance music. I then am pretty much fully awake and in a decent mood. Give me a little more time as I play a game or two. I am dancing round my room to music. Providing no one makes me pissed off. I am usually dancing around my room and all waiting for my boyfriend to come on.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
This was months ago. I had been so happy for a while...I was involved in something everybody seemed to think was wrong except my closest friends. I was involved with someone I met online through someone who had broken my heart. This guy was there to pick me back up and help me out I was so happy for many months cause of him. The part comes for a turn in the story. He was thirty one. Done being shocked yet? I loved him so much and he surely loved me. Though usually guys hat old I would never consider. I was emotionally and sexually involved with him and yes on the internet. Then an ex of mine who I trusted as a friend. He blabbed to my aunt about it and then it got to my stupid mother. They well you can guess what they did. I was dragged on for months not knowing they knew. Then a ex of my so called friend (the ex of mine) told me what was going on. I flipped completely and threaten my life his life his friends life for being involved and my mother's life. The next day stupid mother of mine wanted me to get an assessment for depression and I denied. The plans were already setup... they were gonna put me in the mental floor of the hospital rather I liked it or not so I did not mess anything up. Cops escorted me to the hospital I got an assessment and they admitted me despite my crying. My crying only helped the people to put me in. I was admitted and that night I cried laying on my bed in the middle of the floor looking out the window. Next day I learned the rules and how to get discharged . I lied as much as I could anything to get out of there. The more I was there the more depressed I got. It felt like a prison. I cried some nights and others i fell asleep to get the night over with. Discharged 6 days later after admission. My head had thoughts of revenge. I regret it. I got it on my ex by going back in a relationship with him and visiting him every weekend. I met my current bf during my first visit there though I did not get with him till a couple months ago I believe I could not back out of my revenge plan when I wanted to. I broke his heart as painlessly as I could. I will get revenge on my stupid mother even if I didn't want to I would. It is simple. My happiness when I leave will be her sadness. I am a kind hearted person and I regret anything I did for revenge. The revenge however did bring me happiness now with my current boyfriend. Maybe I could have done things differently and still met him I am not sure. I am just glad things worked out for me now
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
This is the kind of music i would play as a dj. I hope you enjoy these few songs and any songs in the suggestion part on youtube beside the video is mostly the same type of music. I have noticed that a large majority of these types of songs are love songs. I assume thats partially why I love them so. They mean something deep and I can dance away the night forgetting my worries.
I leave you with one of my favourite song quotes. " In my heart I will always always be a raver can't you see"
The more days go and pass me by. I realize I got the best boyfriend I could ask for. This is just the happiest time of my life and as the song goes... I'm so lucky lucky... so lucky lucky.. i'm so lovely lovely i'm so lovely lovely.Nothing i could ever want compares to me love for my boyfriend. People can tell me I do not know love and I would respond if I do not know love explain the smile on my face the strength to go on and my dancing shining happy moods every time I talk to him. This is love buddy and nobody will deny me what i truly deserve. Family is not what I need in life. Family and me we just have not mixed and that is me. Love is my life and if I cannot love my lover my true love... there is simply no point in going on for me. True love is what I live for. I am here... I am sexy... I am in love... and oh boy I am so lucky.
Monday, April 18, 2011
I recently told a friend i wasn't into something anymore. This is something that is a big part in his life and not in mine and never was. It is something i'd rather not tell what it is here. This thing was for enjoyment and to others its a big part of their lives just like my friend. My friend is in denial and wondering when I will like it again and yet I do not think I will. He does not speak to me much anymore and when he does its relating to this "thing". I say something about not liking it he says nothing else. I do not know how to make him see its not a big deal and we are still friends. This is stupid to be this way over but I can not see why he makes it out to be.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
I don't really remember if I have ever mentioned this . My dream is to become a night club DJ. The music I would play is not your rap, hip hop and such. I would play all different kinds of techno and trance. The dancy love songs to the slow songs and everything in between. The ones that r crazy and ones that aren't so crazy. I wanna explore music of this genre so far I want to be in the deep depths of these as I think they are called... sub genres. They are all techno and trance and yet with their own spin and style to them. I wanna show people how to have a good time listening to good music. Make a party hot... come out of my shell and show people fun, love, and everything this music has to offer.
This friend hasn't talked to me in two months or more. He ignores any im on facebook I send him yet i see that he is replying to comments as it comes up on my news feed. Soon after i message him he logs off... no excuse for not answering me at all or saying one thing to me. I am waiting on some answer before i go off on him. I do feel like i just wanna blow up at him next time I try to talk to him cause the least I deserve is a damn explanation.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
I wanna start posting again while at the same time... have added google adsense to my blog so if you kindly would click an ad or two upon your visits to my page.... id thank you as im trying to get money collected for a couple things including seeing a friend of mine. I think i might be bale to find topics for me to post about so look foward to that? Haha.