Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The truth behind violence

All the the violence has touched us in some 
way and to the extent of a mental breakdown. We realize we need
a change how does one change the world? Some say one act of
random kindness at a time, but I say but giving our love and care
to eachother, physco killers are people too and need love,
never forget even a physco killer or murderer is a person with a heart they just have
a pain inside them and it has driven them to do things of such and
such degreee and do not know how to deal with it, the time to take a stand has been here and in order for these people to stop killing they need love and care and to have their mind set at ease from the constant worrying as also the confusion.

Monday, December 28, 2009


Close friend wanted me to post this poem of his on my blog and its special to him and he can't seem to work with  his computer to get a blog up so here is his poem

I never really knew you You were just another friend But when I got to know you, I let my heart unbend. I couldn't help past memories that would only make me cry I had to forget my first love and give love another try So I've fallen in love with you and I'll never let you go I love you more than anyone I just had to let you know And if you ever wonder why I don't know what I'll say But I'll never let you go

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Explosion from within me

yesterday, I had a arguement with my mom and of course her fucking tone got me irritated cause after all  I couldn't get a word in and she pisses me off with that bitchy tone. It honestly felt great to cuss that bitch out heh no lie. I cussed her out so bad and called her bitch several times and maybe only cuss words I used were fucking, bitch, and damn. I did tell her what I think of her without hesitation. I swear she got mad as she could and it didn't scare me one bit and it only made me reach close to my peak. She kept yelling go to your computer I can't look at you. I stayed a minute  and cussed her some more haha. She just kept screaming at me and I finally left so she would shut up. So her bf gets home talks 2 me and of course says I'm wrong shes my mom and I shouldn't disrespect her or call her a bitch. I told him she is one and she acts like one and he is like no she's not shes your mother. He thinks she is a bitch every time they argue and yet I can't... Oh I think I can. Then after a while mom is like she gonna make me an appointment with the doctor to see if I need to see the the therepist about my anger. I get mad and stuff and she says He'll probally wanna see her too. This is something I have yet to admit to you my friends. That thing is. I DON'T BELIEVE IN FUCKING THEREPIST. I think all you need is just good friend or friends to talk to not a dang therepist. This concludes my rant.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Scars of depression

What I see when I listen to the song scars  on my playlist here on my blog is this.

A man standing looking up at the sky getting angry and depressed thinking of the current depressing events the world spinning around him as he grabs his head and falls to his knees as his head aches and he becomes immobile. He crys and sweats as tears run down his face he clutches his chest as he screams into the world wanting the love he now has lost. He gets up and walks around and the scene dissapears as he now sits in his house upon his bed. He is full of depression and someone walks in asking him questions and talking to him as he gets annoyed and yells and explodes in anger yelling get out. They didnt notice his depression and he doesn't wanna be bothered as he sits depressed.He crys more and wondering how to fix his life. He clucthes his chest again and feels the pain and heartache. He stands up and again the scene dissapears. He is in a forest and the loved one is there drowning in water he offer his hand and they reject it and so he yells at the loved one saying you should have never come and begins walking back home as he realizes he cared too much for them and it was hard to let them go. He is scared, but he moves on with his life still sad, but coming up from his depression.


This is a poem Ii have made and yes I know it doesn't rhyme It is just a poem.

Loved you for so long, feeling as if I found the one.

Then you come around and say you've loved someone else too.

You say you love us equally for now and maybe always.

Love is a gamble, you find someone you fall in love with them and you bet heartache and depression for love and happiness.

This bet to me was worth it for you and I always let you know how special you are to me.

The time now you tell me this  secreat of yours, I feel as if you  love him more. He will be your choice in love.

Everyone else went on without me and now I wait for you to do so.

You could say now that will never happen, but in your heart you know you will.

I'm sorry I fell for you, but then again who could resist you.

Sure enough not me at all, but that will leave me depressed once you leave.

I took the gamble and im loosing the bet, please don't let me loose, beacause when I said all those times I love you I meant it everytime with the strongest meaning possible.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

can anyone help me withy comp. mic problem?

So my comp. has this built in mic but i t recently stopped working all i know is this pic i have i circled this bar above mic volume which is balance bar on it for volume  its gray and wont let me adjust it can you tell what the problem is and how to fix my mic